


Perfectly Normal

by ZombieJesus



Series: The Janus Experiments [1]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Awkwardness, Breaking L’s cool, But ultimately fluffy/happy, Dark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Facials, Feels, Handcuffed Together, Heed the call, Just a situation which calls for p0rn, M/M, Masturbation, Mindfuck, Power Dynamics, Rivalry, Second chap tags:, Sexual Frustration, The Janus Experiments, Two Shot, Voyeurism, Wet Dream, no story really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-04 01:31:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12760377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieJesus/pseuds/ZombieJesus
Summary: Light was frustrated with the handcuffs, and L suspected he knew why. “It’s perfectly normal for a teenage male.”Light, blushing, “Yeah, well these handcuffs kinda get in the way.” He glared at Ryuzaki. “Can’t we take them off, just for a bit?”“Out of the question.”“Fine. But I’m just going to get more irritable.”L gave him a little smile. “Just pretend like I’m not here.”Easier said than done.—Pick your Lawlight poison. Two different decisions to the scenario above.Chap 1: [light] Emotional hurt/comfort with happy fluffy ending feelsChap 2 : [dark] Light tries to break L’s self control and cool facade through mindfuckery





	1. Problem Solving

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Italiano available: [Perfettamente normale](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13173420) by [MaryFangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryFangirl/pseuds/MaryFangirl)



> Light’s given up the death note following voluntary imprisonment so actually believes he is not Kira in this moment in time. Of course, L knows better.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First fork in the road.

Light tossed and turned in the bed he was forced to share with L, but it was hard to get comfortable when you were tethered to someone else. Especially when that someone else was misguidedly and single-mindedly focused on your destruction. He sighed and tried to fluff up the pillow for the third time, plopping his head down in it heavily. _It’s no good. I’m not uncomfortable, I’m incredibly sexually frustrated. And I’m going to go crazy if I don’t get off soon._

 

All the jangling of the chain brought wide grey eyes to turn in his direction, “Is Light-kun having trouble sleeping again?”

 

Light grumbled, his back to L, “Yes, as a matter of fact I am.” He tugged the blanket up to his chin and tried to be still, but his now ever-present erection was making that nearly impossible. Impossible to work, to concentrate, to plan, to evade hurled accusations. To sleep. The past few mornings he’d woken up feeling sticky yet unfulfilled, apparently having wet dreams in the night he had no memory of and thus no relief from. What was even worse was that he did remember snippets of the dreams’ imagery, and they disturbed him deeply, yet any memory of the orgasm or pleasure was cruelly missing. 

 

All this had not escaped L’s notice. After all, he saw Light in the morning, trying to hide the wet spot on his pants. Saw him in the shower scrubbing furtively. Saw him undress and try to turn away to hide his constant hardness. And recently, heard him softly moan during his fitful sleep in ways that expressed that Light was definitely not having a nightmare. If L was being honest with himself, it was becoming a bit of a distraction for him to be around a horny eighteen year old who hadn’t gotten off in months. L had more self-control than a teenager but even he had his limits.

 

Light grabbed the pillow and stuffed it over his head, wanting to scream into it. He’d thought about being sneaky but L was awake when he went to bed, rose in the morning before he did. All his waking moments he was watched like an interesting bug pinned beneath a microscope. _Calm down! Control yourself! You don’t see L over there writhing around wishing he could jerk off and he’s in the same boat as me._ But he whispered into the pillow anyway, “I’m gonna fucking explode if this goes on.”

 

L chewed his thumb, watching Light‘s head disappear under the pillow. “It’s a perfectly normal reaction for a teenage male.”

 

Light’s pulled the pillow away, thinking he must have heard wrong. He spoke to the ceiling in irritation, “What!?”

 

”It’s a normal biological reaction for someone your age who is deprived of privacy. But you shouldn’t be so irritable. It’s interfering with the team’s ability to work together smoothly.”

 

L had a point. Just today he’d nearly bit Matsuda’s head off about something trivial, and a few days ago, he thought Aizawa was going to deck him for being a smartass. ”Yeah, well, these handcuffs are kinda getting in the way of the whole privacy thing.” He turned to face L, “Can’t we take them off just for a little while?”

 

”Out of the question.” 

 

Light turned back over with a huff. “Fine. But I’m just going to get more tense as time goes on. Don’t blame me if I snap at Matsuda.”

 

”If you need to so badly just pretend like I’m not here.”

 

Light sat up to face those placid grey eyes. “Ryuzaki you can’t be serious.”

 

L sat up too and shrugged. “I’ve seen everything else by now Light-kun.”

 

Light was momentarily tempted due to the incredible tension inside him, but the thought was just too humiliating. “No way.” He flopped back down with an embassessed groan. “I’d rather just be in a bad mood.” Even if he could be sneaky, he’d rather die than have an orgasm while L was in the room. And right next to him in bed! Because Light knew he could be...a bit loud. And after so long who knows that kind of fool he’d make of himself. _Uh uh. No way._

 

”Suit yourself, Light-kun.” And L laid back down, still staring at him from across the gap between them.

 

Light squeezed his eyes tight and tried to think of the most boring, non-sexy images he could muster up. And after finally imagining he was on the phone with Misa, he drifted into what would ultimately be another unrestful night under L’s searchlights.

 

But at about 2 am, L was woken up by something new. At first he thought Light was trying to get his attention, but he recognized quickly that Light was still asleep, eyes closed. However, that wasn’t preventing Light from pushing his hips into the bed and whisper-moaning his name, “Ryuzaki.....”

 

L brought a hand to his mouth and blushed hard, knowing he wasn’t meant to know that, hear that. And that while he desperately wished to hear Kira’s secrets, he’d just heard a one of Yagami Light’s.

———-

 

The next morning Light awoke with a now familiar feeling of dread. “Fuck!” His pants were wet and sticky yet again, and yet again anything fun that had happened in his dream was elusive. And worst of all, the one thing he did remember from the dream was who it was about. _Double fuck!_  He sighed angrily, digging his nails into the mattress.

 

“Good morning Light-kun.” L was crouching on the bed above him, a finger hooked in his bottom lip and appearing even more wide-eyed than usual. He had a little smile on his face that definitely wasn’t there the night before.

 

Light shot a glare in his direction and sat up hesitantly, keeping his lower half covered. “Well you seem cheerful this morning. At least one of us slept well.”

 

L’s smile spread a little. “Does Light-kun know he talks in his sleep?” _And such talk..._

 

Light’s eyes widened imperceptibly. _Oh no, did I say something embarrassing? No, L’s just bluffing._ He quickly recovered, narrowing his eyes, “Must’ve had a bad dream.” He tried to give an easy smile, “Hope I didn’t disturb you, Ryuzaki.”

 

But L did feel disturbed, and as Light said ‘Ryuzaki,’ L bit down on his thumb, hard. He leapt up off the bed, dragging Light to the bathroom. “Come on, time to get ready for work.” And pretended not to notice the large wet spot across Light’s pajama pants.

———

When the workday was over and Light and L were alone in L’s room for the night, that was when Light knew he was in for it. L had barely said two words to him after he pushed Matsuda up against the wall for saying Light looked tense. It was a stupid, stupid thing to do and Light had apologized immediately, but he of course noticed they avoided his eyes for the rest of the day. _Shit, they really are going to start thinking I’m Kira if I keep this up. I can’t go on like this much longer._

 

And sure enough, as soon as the doors closed, L turned to him at the end of the handcuff chain, “Enough. You need to handle your problem.” He went to crouch on the bed, eyes not moving from Light.

 

Light gaped at him, “I’m sorry ok?! This whole situation which has created my ‘problem’ wasn’t MY idea!” He felt his temper rising, “This is YOUR fault!”

 

L looked up at the ceiling in thought. “I think Light-kun being Kira is more directly responsible for his problem than my role in it.” He smiled a little behind a hooked finger.

 

Light was seeing red. He screamed his tension, “HOW many times do I have to say it before you get it Ryuzaki?” He stormed over to the bed and got in L’s face, grabbing his shirt. “I’M NOT KIRA!”

 

L nodded in mock seriousness. “If Light-kun says so.”

 

”GAH!” Light turned away from L with an angry huff, clutching his hair in frustration. “You’re impossible. You wouldn’t understand what it’s like...”

 

L stopped smiling then. “And why wouldn’t I understand?”

 

Light whipped back around to face him, “Because you’re a robot! Cold as ice! Do you even HAVE feelings? Desires?” He got back in L’s face, and noticed the man slightly leaning back from Light this time, not so defiant anymore. “You probably never even wanted someone in your whole life.” He pushed L’s shoulders a little and he toppled back on the bed. “HAVE YOU?!” He stood over L, panting hard with furious energy, staring him down.

 

And L stared up at him blankly, eyes wider than ever, not moving from where he fell on the bed. But feeling like someone had just stabbed him. _Your words cut me deep Light. Is that really how you see me?_

 

Light balled his fists and turned away from him, wanting to storm off but unable to. He violently threw the covers off his side of the bed and got in, yanking the covers back over him and turning away from L. He turned off the light with a slam on the button, not saying another word. But his hands were twisting into the covers, and he was biting his lip so hard he knew it was drawing blood. _I’m out of control. I hate this! I hate what you’re doing to me L! Taunting me as something I’m not, chaining me to you, making me want you..._ He stopped himself there. _No. That can’t be. I can’t control my dreams. But, I can’t control myself awake either. Fuck!_

 

For his part, L slowly and quietly crept beneath the covers of his side of the bed. _I’m not a robot, Light. My heart is not made of ice. And I do feel desire. I just can’t do anything about it. Same as you._ He turned towards Light, watching the rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed, a bit faster than was normal. _Still angry._

 

Light slowly relaxed as he laid there in the quiet dark, and regret over what he’d said to L slowly crept in as anger receded. After a while he sighed heavily, “Ryuzaki...”

 

L felt chills when Light said that name now, same as he had all day long. His voice was small when he responded, “Yes Light.”

 

”I’m sorry...” He didn’t know what else to say. But he was sorry. He could tell from L’s tone of voice that he’d hurt him. He turned over and met liquid eyes staring at him in the dark, and immediately started to feel himself getting hard. A whisper, “Oh no...” _Shit, it’s happening again. No...._

 

L didn’t blink. “Why oh no.”

 

But Light couldn’t bring himself to say, he was too embarrassed about everything. His body. His behavior. His feelings. All of it was like an enormous ball of twine that just kept wrapping and layering, growing ever bigger by the moment and nearly big enough to strangle him. But the worse option was it all came unspooled at last. “Nothing.”

 

”Light, do you really think I have no feelings?”

 

”I didn’t mean that—“

 

”Because I do. They’re just the wrong feelings.”

 

Light looked at him curiously from his pillow. “Wrong? How?”

 

L sighed. “I want to help you with your problem.” 

 

Light’s eyes grew to the size of L’s and he stopped breathing. 

 

L scooted a tiny bit closer, not close enough to touch him yet, but enough to show he was serious. “If you’ll let me.”

 

Light couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and felt frozen in time. _I also can’t believe how achingly hard I am. Oh god...what should I do? Is this some trap? A way to get me vulnerable, exploit my weaknesses? Get me to say something that isn’t true and I’ll regret?_

 

“Ryuzaki...” Light noticed L shudder as he whispered it. He had no sentence left to finish. 

 

L scooted closer, so close he could feel Light’s anxious panting breath on his face. “You said the problem was my fault.” L brought a tentative finger to Light’s parted lips and brushed across the bottom one as his eyes followed. “Let me solve it then.” His eyes flitted back up to Light’s amazed ones. _He’s not saying no._ He let his finger trace softly along Light’s cheek and down his neck to the collar of his shirt. “I want to solve it.” _I’m not made of ice, Light._

 

Light was so compromised by the overwhelming desire to get off he momentarily had forgotten that in front of him was a person who wished him executed, named him Kira and pursued him as such. Who sparred with him in hopes of catching him in a lie, of tricking him, of uncovering something ugly that Light knew didn’t live inside him. Yet L believed it of him. Believed he was a killer. “If you think I’m Kira, why would you say that?”

L gave a little smile. “Stop asking questions already.” His hand moved to stroke Light’s chest through his shirt, and L felt Light’s heart rate speed up, nearly pounding out of his rib cage. “Do you want help or not?”

 

When L’s hand reached Light’s waist, Light’s breath hitched and L felt a hand on his, taking it and moving it lower to the incrediblely hard erection beneath Light’s pants. Light’s pupils dilated as L’s long fingers brushed it lightly over fabric, “Ryuzaki....yes.” He closed his eyes, “Yes.” He shifted to his back and locked eyes with L again, disbelieving this was happening but too far gone to stop it now. Just needing it, release, more than anything he’d ever needed in his life. _And it’s him, the one I’ve been dreaming of for months. My wet dream has come to life at last_.

 

“One second.”

 

Light shot him an alarmed look as L removed his hand and reached into his nightstand, taking out a bottle of lube. He turned back to Light and held up the bottle. “Just this, nothing to be afraid of.” He scooted closer to Light again, his body touching him now, and looked into Light’s eyes. “You are scared, aren’t you? Have you ever done this before? Has anyone ever touched you?”

 

Light swallowed and shook his head ‘no.’

 

L brushed a piece of hair from Light’s eyes, “Don’t worry, I’ll make your first time as beautiful as you are.”

 

Light exhaled his nerves and smiled back up at him. _How could I have thought you have no emotions L? You think me your enemy yet say such words to me._ “Ryuzaki, I have to warn you though...”

 

L hooked his fingers in Light’s waistband, gently pulling his pants all the way down and off. “Hmmm?” He squirted some lube in his hand and warmed it.

 

Light looked away, up to the ceiling. His face was on fire. _So embarrassing._ “I...I can be a bit...loud...when I, you know...”

 

”Orgasm?”

 

Light shut his eyes tight, “Yes.”

 

“Don’t worry, I just turned the cameras off in here. No one will hear you.” He traced a single lubed finger up Light’s shaft. “No one but me.”

 

Light’s eyes flew open and his body clenched, shuddering under that soft teasing touch. _Nobody but you._ As L began to press his palm to Light’s cock, smoothing the lube over it, he gasped, realizing now the enormity of what he was doing and how incredibly hard he was going to come. “More....”

 

L was caught between wanting to give Light relief as quickly as possible, ending his tense state, and drawing it out as long as he could to savor the moment. _I may never have this chance again. And you’ll thank me later Light._ “Shhh just relax, close your eyes and let me help you.” _Just give in to me for once, Light. Kira. Just this once, trust me._  

 

And Light did. He forced his body to relax, and closed his eyes, breathing deeply and letting the waves of intense pleasure wash over him as L expertly teased the now-slick head. He moaned and arched into the touch as a finger slowly circled his slit, “Oh god....” _I sound so pathetic, but I don’t care anymore. Make me come L, I’ll let you._

 

L desperately wanted to put his mouth on Light’s smooth skin, but wasn’t sure how he’d react to that. _That seems even more intimate that what I’m doing to him now._ He started to slowly stroke Light’s shaft with barely any pressure, and Light was trembling beneath his fingers, his hands wrenching into the sheets and lips parted, head starting to angle back on the pillow. 

 

A loud moan escaped Light’s lips but he was beyond feeling embassassment. L sped his pace a little in response, getting Light nearly to the brink of orgasm before backing off again and going back to slow tracing circles around the head or cupping and stroking his balls. Then back to firmer strokes again.

 

“Ryuzaki....Ryuzaki....” Nearly a desperate cry, nearly a beg, Light had never been more at L’s mercy than at this moment.

 

And L couldn’t take it anymore, his own cock was leaking precum and harder than he’d ever remembered, pressed tight to Light’s hip. He bent over Light’s chest and put his mouth on his skin, testing Light’s reaction, watching him with wide grey eyes as he continued to stroke and tease. “Not Ryuzaki....L.”

 

Light gasped as he felt L’s lips part on his chest and that wet soft tongue between them. And as that tongue moved across skin and took a nipple in it to gently suck, Light shuddered a moan again, “Yes...” _He wants to touch me. He isn’t just doing it because I’m tense. He wants me._ And that realization was enough to push aside the ultimate wrongness of this, all of this. He opened his eyes and looked down at L, who was now gazing up at him, his cheek on Light’s chest and eyes full of emotion there. He put a hand on L’s back as they locked eyes and guided him up to his face, closer and closer until their lips were nearly touching. _This is the point of no return._

 

L was panting millimeters from Light’s mouth, and it took all his self control not to crash into him right then and there. _No, let him make the move, let him._ But L didn’t have to wait long.

 

Brokenly, “Kiss me already...L.” Light pulled L on top on him. “I can’t stand this anymore.” He leaned forward and their lips met with a shock of electricity and L wasn’t holding back anymore. He was pushing his tongue deeply into Light’s mouth and humming with need, Light reaching to stroke L’s cock too.

 

L picked up the pace and knew Light wasn’t going to last much longer with so much pent up sexual tension. Each stroke was sending tiny jerks through Light’s body, flooding his brain with waves of pleasure he neither could nor wanted to escape from.

 

Light wrenched his mouth away from L’s, arching hard against him, drops of sweat beading on his skin and he felt his orgasm approaching like a comet about to crash into him from afar. Forgetting himself, forgetting all but his body on fire, “Make me come L....please....I need this so bad...please, please....” He whimpered and pressed his lips to L’s once more, seeking mercy there, and L smiled into the kiss, granting it. He clenched his fingers tight around Light’s engorged cock and stroked hard and fast, Light tensing and shaking, moaning into L’s mouth, stroking L just as fast. 

 

The moment when Light came in a blinding rush of pleasure overwhelmed him completely, and he pulled back and screamed, “Oh FUCK!” He spurted again and again between L’s fingers and L let go too, watching Light beneath him and unable to tell if he was in incredible pain or ecstasy. He buried his face in Light’s neck, licking and kissing that soft skin through Light’s pulsing orgasm and his own, until Light lay there panting, exhausted. All the tension had fled from him, all the fear, all the anger and anxiety. What was left was raw and aching and awkward but it was good, it felt comfortable and right somehow. 

 

And what was left wasn’t Kira, L saw. This was Light. _My first friend._

 

He smiled, breath still coming hard but slowing, “Thank you.” _I mean it._ Light opened his eyes and looked into grey ones. The look in L’s eyes made him pause, it was so completely unguarded. “L...I....” He saw a whole vulnerable world open up there, just for him, waiting for him to reach out and grab it if he wanted it. And as thin fingers entwined with his, he knew he wanted to, he wanted to have it. _All of it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, different road: Light will take L up on his original offer to try to pretend he’s not there.


	2. Pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second fork in the road. 
> 
> Same intro as Chapter 1, but Light makes a different decision in response to L’s original offer. A different mood and tone—this time Light is trying to break L’s self control and their rivalry is front and center.

“If you need to so badly just pretend like I’m not here.”

 

Light sat up to face those placid grey eyes. “Ryuzaki you can’t be serious.”

 

L sat up too and shrugged. “I’ve seen everything else by now Light-kun.”

 

Light stared at L, gaping at his nerve. “You really are serious!” _How much pride do I have left at this point? That’s the real question here._  There was an odd glint to L’s eyes that betrayed to Light that L was enjoying watching him squirm. _Well the answer is, not much.  
_

L gave him a little smile behind his thumb, “My paramount concern is the case. It is my responsibility to make sure we are all at peak performance. And if this is preventing you from fully participating in our work, I’m willing to endure whatever I must to rectify that.” _Not that I’d mind actually._

 

 _Endure it huh._ Light flopped back down on his pillow, mortified that he was discussing this with anyone, let alone L. He shut his eyes and sighed heavily, “I...think that’s a bad idea Ryuzaki.“

 

”What’s a bad idea is you walking around in your current state.”

 

 _He’s not wrong._ “Ugh...how about I go in the bathroom and shut the door...as much as I can anyway. I’ll keep the chain on. And you...can grab your laptop or something and work.” _I can’t believe I’m making deals like this._ Light grimaced with embarrassment.

 

 _I don’t think I’ll be able to get much work done like that, and anyway..._ “I’m afraid not. Light-kun knows that the point of the handcuffs is that you are never out of my sight.”

 

Light’s eyes flew open. “WHAT?!!!” He turned towards L, furious. “What do you actually think I could do alone in the bathroom with one hand??” 

 

L’s smile widened just slightly. _Now there’s a thought._ “There’s no telling what Kira might be capable of.” 

 

Light groaned. “So you’re telling me I have to do it right here.” _What...._

 

”Yes.”

 

”With you right next to me.” ... _in_....

 

”Yes.”

 

”Watching.” ... _the..._

 

”Yes.”

 

 _HELL!_ Light covered his face with his hands and laid there in the dark, wrestling with his screaming need to get off and his absolute horror of having to do it like this. But also an explosive anger that L was obviously enjoying his suffering, and clearly believed he wasn’t going to do it. Too scared to do it. Too embarrassed. Too intimidated by him.  _Well, fuck it. I’ll show you L. I’m not afraid of you and if this is the way you want it, the only way you’re going to let me get relief..._ Laughing though his fingers,”Fine.”

 

L was most definitely not expecting Light to say that, and in a rare lapse, his lips parted a little beneath his now moon-sized eyes. _Really???! I was totally bluffing and probably would have agreed to the bathroom idea if this had gone on much longer. But....I can’t say I’m disappointed with this outcome._

 

Light yanked his hands away from his face, fury flashing in his eyes, and turned to L. An evil little smile tugged at the edge of his mouth. “Just one thing, Ryuzaki.”

 

L managed to form quiet words, but his gaze was unwavering from Light. “...what?” _The look on your face Light. It makes me feel....odd._ He brought a finger to his mouth, needing something, anything to focus his mind on.

 

Light practically snarled at him, ”You want to watch me. Fine. But that’s ALL you get to do. Watch. Got it?” _I’ll torture you right back L. I see the hungry look on your face, this is more than doing your job._ _I’ll give you an eyeful then! I’ll give you a show you’ll NEVER forget. And you’ll be the one squirming tomorrow, unable to do YOUR job._

 

L nodded slowly, trying not to look too eager. “Of course. Unlike some people, I have no problem controlling myself.” But L only had a moderate amount of faith he was going to be able to hold up his end of the bargain. _I’ll just have to. I’m all in now, I can’t take it back. Can’t suggest his safe way out now or I’ll look like I’m the one who’s afraid. Damn it, Light. Turning the tables just like Kira would do. Kira..._

 

Light sat up on his knees on the bed and turned to L. His jaw was set, eyes slightly narrowed in a devious glare. _I won’t be your prey in this game L._ “I’m going to pretend you aren’t here Ryuzaki.” He slammed the button on the lamp base, casting a dim light against him. He pulled his shirt over his head slowly, letting L see his lightly muscled stomach before his smooth chest and erect nipples. He held L’s wide-eyed stare, “Let’s see if you can too.” _I’ll be the predator._ He smiled beneath his fringe of bangs as he slipped his pajama pants off and his cock sprung free, so hard it was nearly vertical, and leaking, dripping precum onto the bedsheets. _Ready for a mindfuck RYUZAKI?_

 

L’s finger dropped out of his now wide open mouth, his eyes drawn downwards to Light’s beautiful cock, neglected for so long.  _What have I done....what have I promised?_ He scanned up Light’s tight and nearly hairless body, the muscles of his thighs, the cut of a v at his hips, a hint of a six-pack, the way his biceps swelled into his broad shoulders, the lines of his collarbone and slender neck. A neck that held up the most exquisite mind L had ever encountered, behind the face of a god. He finally met Light’s eyes again, feeling Kira there behind them, feeling murder there, oceans of blood. And L’s pulse started to race. 

 

Light was resolved to do this right, to break L’s cool facade, and to do that he wasn’t going to be able to come right away like he wanted. _I’ll have to suffer a bit too, L, but it’ll be worth it. And I’m not going to break eye contact with you the entire time, just as you insist on keeping me under your microscope. Fuck pretending. You’re here and I’m going make sure you know it._ He ran a hand over his chest, fingertips lightly tracing lines of muscles and the curves of his body. He licked his fingers and began to brush over his nipples, enjoying the warm pleasure spreading through his torso as they got even harder. 

 

L unconsciously leaned slightly closer, eyes flitting from Light’s eyes to what his hands were doing. _He’s...he’s going to stare me down until the bitter end isn’t he?_  L had been hard since Light had said ‘Fine’ but now he was achingly so. _Maybe it’s not too late for the safe idea..._ ”Light-kun...this...this...” But he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence, prevented by both pride and a knife-like desire to see more.

 

Light’s other hand traced down his stomach, lower, lower. “Shhhhh Ryuzaki. You’re not here, remember?” He spread his knees apart slightly and spit in his hand, using a single finger to spread it around the head of his cock in slow circles. He exhaled hard, that feeling so tantalizingly delicious, the first time he’d been able to touch himself for pleasure in so, so long. Light didn’t have to look at L’s pants to know how hard he was, it was written all over his frozen face plain as a neon sign.

 

L’s breath hitched as he watched Light tease himself, heart pounding and using all his self control not to break his promise and start stroking. He balled his hands into fists, what nails he had left digging into the flesh of his palms. _I have no choice but to watch like I said. And I can’t do anything about it. I can do this. I’m not some horny teenager. I’m L!_

 

Light watched the private battle behind L’s eyes with relish. _Oh you just wait L._ His lips parted in a soft ‘ahhh’ as he started slowly stroking, not exerting much pressure, just sliding his fingers over saliva-coated skin and watching L’s face. All the tiny little emotions L hid so well during the day, during their work, Light saw them now starting to crest beneath calm waters. _Now you’re suffering. Come on then, we’ll suffer together._  He squeezed his cock slightly and the intensity made him moan a bit loudly, louder than he’d meant to, but the effect on L paid dividends. “Ohhhh fuck yes....”

 

L clutched his own shirt when Light moaned, and now was twisting the fabric beneath spindly fingers and breathing raggedly. _No...must not...must control myself...maintain control..._ He wrenched his hands out of his shirt and thrust the fingertips of both hands into his mouth, biting hard, holding them there lest they betray him. But he couldn’t turn away, not for a second, and he devoured the spectacle in front of him with a gnawing hunger. _I feel...I’m lusting for Kira...this is so wrong. Light, you bastard, you know exactly what you’re doing._ And that thought was the most arousing of all, and made his cock pulse hard in his pants, pushing a real gasp from his lips.

 

Light smiled wide at L’s unraveling, and decided to push him even further. He went back to slow, light strokes, avoiding the head to prolong things. He spoke, to no one supposedly but himself, but of course, really to L. A whisper, as if saying a secret, “Feels so amazing...so intense...I haven’t gotten off in sooooo long.” He pinched his nipple, letting his mouth fall open as he started to pant his words, “I’m going to come _gallons_.” He leaned forward towards L biting his smiling lip, radiating sex and danger, taunting him with his eyes and he sped up again. A dark grin, “Fucking GALLONS.” 

 

L’s eyes went even wider and he was biting his trembling fingers so hard he was sure he was doing some serious damage. _I’m not going to be able to do this. Oh no...don’t tell me Kira’s winning this...I can’t let him win!_ He pulled his wet aching fingers from his mouth and they wanted so so bad to touch himself. _NO!_ So he just held them in front of his gaping mouth, paralyzed as he watched a single bead of sweat forming on Light’s chest and running down his flat stomach. _Don’t don’t don’t...._.

 

Light was beginning to become genuinely overwhelmed with the intense sensations and began moaning and panting in earnest, his free hand running all over his body, scratching down his chest and hips and leaving marks. He was drunk on his power over L, the man in front of him stripped more naked than he was, the desire between them a deadly venom coursing and burning through their veins. To no one, but of course really to L, “I’m having... such a kickass fantasy.... oh god....”

 

And L, a statue that trembled, couldn’t help himself but whisper brokenly, “....what...what is it?”

 

Light smiled as he panted, “If only...someone was here...to tell it to.” _Beg me L. Show me you have even less pride than I do. Surrender!_

 

L scooted towards him, destroyed by curiousity and desire. “I’m here Light. Tell me....” He slowly moved around Light, taking in every angle and every movement with enormous grey eyes. His hand hovered over his pants above his erection but he balled his fist again tight. _I’m losing..._

 

Through lidded eyes, Light stared L down, leaning his head back slightly but never breaking that crucial eye contact, that spell. “So. You are here.”

 

L reached out to touch him but jerked his hand away at the last moment, panting at Light in frustration. _This illusion of control...it’s fading._ “Yes! I’m here. You...you...win this game, Light. Tell me...” His voice went softer, lower in pitch as his pride died. “Please...”

 

Light almost came right then and there to hear L concede the game and beg, but he held back with enormous effort. _No, not yet. I must break him completely._ He took a deep breath, whispering, “I was just thinking...thinking what your pretty fucking face would look like...covered in my cum RYUZAKI.” He ran his tongue across his bottom lip then clinked his teeth together like a bite.

 

L grabbed his erection through his pants and pressed it hard, gasping as that image burned like a brand against his mind. _Oh my god....you’ve ended me._ He yanked his shirt and pants off as fast as he could. His voice thick with desire, “Stand up.” He started to stroke himself fast as Light grabbed the bed bannister and stood up, staring down into L’s begging eyes, the handcuff chain dangling between them. L held his face right in front of Light’s cock, making it perfectly clear what he wanted Light to do. _This isn’t normal. This isn’t right. This is as sick as I am. And I am so beyond caring._

 

Light bit his lip and nodded with triumph at L, grasping the bannister hard, his nails digging into it. _I can’t hold back any longer, not like this. And I’ve broken him now. He’s here, will always be here in his mind._ He hissed down at L, stroking and panting hard at his feet, “Better get ready Ryuzaki. I’m about to fucking explode.”

 

L’s voice was demanding now, full of anticipation, “Do it!”

 

Light’s mouth fell as he felt the blinding rush slam through him, using his grip on the bannister to support his weak knees, and he looked down and watched himself pulse shot after shot onto L’s waiting face, lips, hair. _And it’s just as beautiful as I imagined._

 

L shut his eyes as Light unloaded on him, but opened his mouth as he came with a gasped moan, “Kira!” He leaned into Light’s soft violence, reveling in it with a sick smile as he floated through so many terrible and beautiful realizations. That he’d lost more than just this game. That he’d lost all control with Light, over Light. That he’d lost himself. _And I don’t give a single fuck in this moment._

 

Light slumped back down to his knees, sweat dripping down his body, and whimpered a little at the incredible relief. “Oh god... finally.” He shut his eyes and leaned his head back, all the tension fleeing him at last, every muscle relaxing simultaneously. He took a deep breath, like sucking in all the oxygen from the room, and brought his eyes level with L’s. That beautiful ruin of a face, his best friend and enemy destroyed under Light’s pull in a way he’d never seen coming. Light smiled to himself. _Well he might have seen some of it coming._

 

Light flopped back down on his side of the bed, feeling immensely better. Better than he had in months. He sighed, “Well, turns out that was a good idea after all Ryuzaki.” He closed his eyes, feeling like he’d get a great night’s sleep tonight. “I think we’ll have to do it again tomorrow night. You know, for the good of the team and all.”

 

L sat there dripping, unable to take his eyes off Light or even to move. _Tomorrow night? Every night? More and more and more...._ “Light...I....ok.” _But how in the hell will I work now? How can I look at your face now? How can I look at my own?_

 

Dreamily, drifting, “Night Ryuzaki.” And he was fast asleep right away.

 

L reached for his shirt, slowly wiping Light’s cum from his face. He touched some of it and tasted it.  _That venom. I’m poisoned. I’m addicted. I’m finished._

 

“Goodnight....Kira.”


End file.
